Having a random hookup so left but love u
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
