It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
