weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
