god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize