Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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