so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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