I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
