this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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