he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
