Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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