I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize