Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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