Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
