I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
