That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
