He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Randomize
