I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Found your dick twin last night
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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