I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!