Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize