i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
