Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
