Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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