Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We just shotgunned beers for America
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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