It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
