using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
