I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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