Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
