Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize