im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
