Porn is love you can see.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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