no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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