David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
