I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I have aggressive nipples.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
