I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize