My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
