Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
