i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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