God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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