Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
