Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
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