i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
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