i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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