You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
