she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'