About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends