After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Threesome in a minivan. New low
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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