Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
