Non-Jews are for practice
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
