ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
