I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
