That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
home. puking in laundry basket.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
