You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
