You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
sex in a hospital.. check
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
