The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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