Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
