I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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