He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
