No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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