we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
