I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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