somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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