Have you finally orgasmed yet?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
