i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
third nipple confirmed
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize