I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
PANTIES FOUND
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