Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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