Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
