You smell like stripper and shame
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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